In the summer of 1994 (can it already have been 18 years?), I used my first dating site. I forget the name, though I do remember the phrase “photo personals” in the title, and it was this phrase and the possibilities it spoke of (actually seeing hundreds of potential men to date) that convinced me to sign up – with much excitement. I was single and ready to mingle. And the prospect of leafing through hundreds (hundreds – not thousands – being a lot of dating profiles at the time) had me full of nervy anticipation.
However, I had a problem. I’m sure you can guess what it was. How was I to write a good dating profile? There were no online dating profile examples to attract men. Trust me, I checked – and checked. So I muddled through and cobbled together my first ever dating profile. It went something like this:
I’m 19 and Want a Boyfriend
I have no idea what to write here – which is super strange because I’m actually a writer (well, training to become one at University.) Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes. If you’re a nice, good-looking guy who isn’t an axe-murderer (sorry, no exceptions), please get in touch. If you are an axe-murderer, try to kill pillows instead; they’re less messy! If you want to know anything else (the nice guys that is), don’t be afraid to ask. Bye!
Not super terrible, right? But also not super good!
Let’s fast-forward eighteen years to the present. Here we are together, you and I. In nearly two decades, I’ve become a writer, a dating coach, and have written too many dating profiles to remember – some I wrote for myself to find a guy, others I wrote as examples to help others do so, folks like yourself. And the latter is what I’ll do now.
In the next few paragraphs I’m going to encapsulate some very powerful knowledge that will help you attract men on dating sites. And you will do it all with words. Let’s get started.
My Headline Here Just Sprouted Hands and Waved At You!
A headline should grab the attention. This is easier than you would think. The vast majority of dating profile headlines go as follows: “I’m Looking For A Man;” “I’m Lonely.” Say it with me: Boring! If you were a guy, scanning hundreds of dating profiles, would either of those headlines stand out and grab you by the lapels, and demand you read the body of the profile? I thought not.
When you look at most online dating profile examples to attract men (and I imagine you’ve read a few of them), rarely do they ever even mention headlines. How silly! Headlines are arguably more important than anything else. Because it is the headline, which grabs attention, that gives us the opportunity to tell our story to someone.
Your headline should zing. Imagine a thousand other headlines but one of those headlines is lit up by a spotlight and as you look closer you hear a marching band and as you lean closer still little arms reach out and wave in your direction. How could a guy resist checking you out?
Make your headline different. What’s different? Different is a million things. Your unique brain and life-experience will dictate something to you. To help, though, let me give you a few tricks.
How can we catch a man’s attention and compel him to read our entire profile (in order for us to attract him)?
You can use humour. It’s eye-catching and creates a good first impression.
Certain unusual words and phrases – ones we didn’t expect to see – are equally powerful.
The question mark at the end of an enticing question is a nice trick, too. People are compelled to read questions and answer them; don’t you think?
And, finally, the ellipsis is perhaps the most clever way to get a man to read our profile (though, used alone, is not enough to capture his attention).
Here are some examples of dating headlines:
(Humour) Help! My Dog Asked Me Out On A Date. He Looks Rough. Nice guys – Inside!
The above example is pretty good, but be careful not to overuse the exclamation point.
(Unusual words and humour) What a PICKLE I’m in. I don’t have a Date! I’m also inside a pickle. Come rescue me!
(Question mark and ellipsis) Have you ever known anyone as crazy as me? I took a picture and…
All About Your Body! No, Not That Body – Profile Body!
You know how to attract a man’s attention with your headline. Now we move on to the body of your profile; the part that attracts the man and convinces him to contact you.
This article would be needlessly long if I gave you dozens of online dating profile examples to attract men (and fill up your inbox). I always figure it’s best to show a person HOW to fish instead of give them fish. So let us continue by me giving you all of the tips you will ever need to attract a man with your profile body.
Your writing should be conversational (though grammatically correct, so it can be understood). Let your speaking voice shine through your words. This is, after all, not a dissertation on global warming!
Begin your profile by writing about yourself; end it by writing about the kind of man you want to meet.
Refrain from writing about the mundane and the cliched. We all like to have fun and laugh and many of us like long walks on the beach. But saying so is redundant. Write, instead, about interesting – perhaps very much different – things that define your uniqueness. Perhaps you like to collect pink socks! Maybe you make mean pancakes and your own apple sauce! Dare to be different.
Humour is a powerful attractant for men. A saucy photograph on your profile pales in comparison to a woman with a good sense of humour (the world is, after all, littered with saucy profile photographs; so much so, in fact, that they have become almost subliminal). Let your humour shine through.
When you complete the portion of the profile about yourself, always make the point of asking the man to ask you more about yourself. This encourages that all-important first contact from them.
Now, when it comes to writing about the man you want to meet, we have a slightly harder task (sorry!). We need to filter out the unwanted men for the wanted men, but we don’t want to seem too picky in case we put off those wanted men.
Before you begin writing this last portion, take a moment to ask yourself, in general terms, what kind of guy you want. Keywords are always best – written on a scrap of paper, maybe. Perhaps words like funny, rugged, mature, established, caring, adventurous describe your ideal man (hey, mine too!).
It is important to specify the traits you want to see in the men contacting you, but to do so in a general way and not write at much length. So, be concise. This way, you end up getting the men you want and not putting them off.
Now, let us conclude, ladies, with an example of a good dating profile to attract men that utilizes everything you have learned.
Oh, GOODNESS! My pet fish asked me out! But he’s too wet behind the ears. Older Guy, Rescue me!
Oh, you’re here. Thank goodness. I have nothing against fish, you understand, but I think I’m going to prefer you. But enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do YOU think about ME?!
Oh, yes, I should tell you something first, shouldn’t I?
Well, I’m here because I’m single, enjoying life, but on the lookout for a man to share all the fun that life decides to throw my way. Even the best things – like donuts and coffee – taste better with a nice guy enjoying them with you, too.
Talking of donuts and coffee – yum, that’s my breakfast of choice. I also make a mean omelet. Well, it’s not mean-mean, you understand. It doesn’t leap off the plate and scream, “Hey don’t eat me!” But, well, you get me.
When not creating talking omelets, I love to go to the markets on a weekend, hunting for a bargain. Last weekend, I bought this lamp fashioned from a cavalry helmet. In the day, I work as a writer, downing coffees, and listening to Aerosmith and Bon Jovi in my apartment. I have a potted plant named Cecil, a cat name D. Mille, and together they watch movies as I work – best of friends. I spend my evenings inside, watching black and white flicks or anything by Woody Allen, and dreaming of a man by my side – possibly you.
And who is this man, this man to steal my heart? Well he’s mature, rugged, humorous, kind and considerate, with some kind of interesting job.
If you’d like to know more, just ask. I don’t bite – the same cannot be said of my mean omelets!
And there you have it: a dating profile imbued with the knowledge you have just gained.